There are just some things I don't understand. Well, maybe I have partial answers for these things. I find it puzzling how someone can be a suicide bomber. It's almost as if they have no conscience. Don't they realize they will be in eternity shortly, if they succeed?
Well, I am beginning to understand the 'no conscience' thing, to a degree. There are two reasons people do not have a conscience. One of them is due to turning away from God and hardening the heart. After a while, the conscience disappears and the person is described in Romans 1. But the other reason for not having a conscience has to do with being traumatized as a child.
The older I get, the more I realize that many of the adults today, were at one time, children who were traumatized. Women tell of their rape stories, which either they were never allowed to talk about before, or, which they were taught wrongly, how to work through the issue. Others have been physically marred by a parent or caretaker. Some have had Satanic Ritual Abuse which is beyond horrible. Children cannot process these types of situations, so their conscience goes blank while the traumatic event(s) are happening. But the subconscious part of us takes over when that happens. We can live the rest of our lives with out consciences being dead, while we live through the subconscious part of our minds. That is why I believe so many can commit horrible crimes, and not even seem to be aware of what is going on.
But here is something I really can't understand, unless the person has been terribly abused as a child, or if the person has hardened his heart completely against God: I can't understand a man who wants sex from a woman, yet, when she gets pregnant, he leaves. I also can't understand how a man who wants to divorce his wife, is resistant to paying alimony, especially when it comes to supporting the children he has fathered.
What is it about wanting out of a marriage, then avoiding the family a man has started, in order to not pay child support? What does the child perceive of this father? Does the child know that his or her father is rejecting them? Doesn't the father care about his children? What is more important to him? A one night stand on the trail? Where is your heart, father?
The hardest thing for children to go through is rejection of their parents. Normal people love their children. No parent is perfect, and no parent gets everything right all the time, but, to leave a family in order to find something better is pretty darn selfish. But if that isn't bad enough, does this parent realize what he is doing to the economy?
When dads choose to leave their children, voluntarily, this is damaging to the family unit, which is the first human unit established by God. Now mom has to go out to work, and probably will have to leave the children in a daycare center, which will take up a large portion of her paycheck? Mom can't be at home nurturing the children because somebody has to put food on the table, and since this is the man's responsibility, primarily, the man who does this is being irresponsible. le
The Bible says that if a man does not provide for his own family, he is worse than an infidel. The statistics are alarming. The divorce rate in the church is very high. Could it be that because some are teaching that God wants us happy, that we are missing the boat? Could it be that because Christian counselors sometimes tell people that it is better to get out of a marriage that you are not happy in, that we are experiencing so much selfishness in our lives?
OK, let's give the guy a little credit though. Perhaps he just doesn't realize all the harm he is causing because of his selfishness. Maybe he doesn't know how to make the connections between our decisions and the following results or repercussions. Maybe he does want help but doesn't know where to find the help he needs?
Maybe. Maybe not. I know of both men and women who have left their families because they found someone else. I have seen girls becoming suicidal because of their father's leaving. I have seen men being reasoned with from the Scriptures, yet the lights don't even come on. It is more important for them to have that other woman, or to be free to follow the lifestyle of promiscuity. There was not even a dram of repentance in their hearts for what they were doing to their children and wives.
This is such a sharp contrast to the life that Jesus has called us to. In Mark 8:34 Jesus is talking the people and here is what He has to say about it: "Summoning the crowd along with His disciples, He said to them, "If anyone wants to be My follower, he must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me."
So, does Jesus call us to a life of happiness and success, or, are we called to live a life of servanthood, filled with God's love for others? The answer to this and all other situations is that we need to learn to 'fear God' and believe what He says, instead of what other people say.
Not only does God say that men need to be responsible, but also, sexual sins as described in the Bible, are very serious before God. God didn't create us so that we could 'shop around' for those we would prefer to have a relationship with. Rather, God gives us our marriage partners, and families. Life doesn't consist of hopping from one bed partner to another, nor does life consist of selling our bodies to get paid. Our bodies are supposed to be treated as holy, and regardless of what society tells us, we do not have a right to do whatever we want with our bodies.
Even in marriage, we can do things wrong, sexually. Here is a warning from the Bible: "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:4 ESV
We will all give account of ourselves to God, and we should live our lives as if God is right there with us (because He actually is!). We can live our own lives and do our own thing, but, our short little lives will end soon and we have to ask ourselves, 'Was it worth it?' Was it worth it for me to leave my little daughters because I love this other woman instead of my wife? Was it worth it for me to leave my son when I found this man who is everything I ever dreamed of? Was it worth is when my children ended up on drugs and in prison several times, because, instead of loving them, I deemed it better to have a rich man in my life who would provide me with good things? Was it worth it when I stand before God and He tells me to 'depart, you who are cursed, into the Lake which burns with fire and brimstone?" Will it all be worth it then, because I wanted to be happy and have my life be as easy and carefree as possible instead of taking care of, and being grateful for what God has entrusted to me while I was on earth?